You feel ungrateful, unworthy, fake, and like you don’t really deserve any of this.
You make out like everything is fine out of fear of judgement and everyone thinking you’re mad.
You feel unfixable.
People only see your mask; standing in a packed room, smiling, laughing, being outrageous and surrounded by people. They think you are so confident and have so much in life. And maybe you do: You may have the career, kids, the house, marriage...all the things that society and the status quo has told you that you should have to be happy and successful.
Physically, you are RIGHT there...but emotionally, you feel a despairing emptiness and loneliness, just wanting to escape your mind and feeling trapped inside your own head.
So you throw yourself into tasks, try every fad from the gym, to getting dressed up, getting out there and putting positive affirmations all around the bloody house. But eventually that motivation burns off and here you are again in your pit of loneliness with nothing but the latest Netflix binge, feeling like a failure, broken, just not good enough, feeling like maybe nothing will ever really make you happy.
You want to feel connected, to really be able to love properly. You want motivation and confidence that lasts and doesn’t burn you out. And mostly, you just want to feel happy. To be able to enjoy life and the people around you.
You are not broken or irreparable.
There is a very simple way out and I can show you how.
I work with people who feel desperately alone, empty and unhappy, to declutter their lives, discover themselves and then put a customised plan in place around who they are and how they work as an individual.
This is the real way to start honestly loving yourself in your own skin and others around you; to feel completely happy in yourself and in your life, be in control of the thoughts in your head, be confident and consistently motivated so that you can really start living a life without that mask.
So why do I care? Who the hell am I? Why am I any different?
I have been where you are and come out the other side where that feeling no longer exists
I was deemed a success to my friends and family and checked off every fucking box of what a successful woman should have done by my age: I'd moved away, got the degree, house, marriage, kid, career.
To the outside world, I was unstoppable. But in reality, I was an emotional and mental wreck in a pit of despair.
I felt alone even in the fullest of rooms, depressed, like a failure. I hated being home as I felt disconnected from my loved ones, thought I was useless as a mother and wife, and would excessively drink to try to feel a slight glimpse of happiness. My marriage finally fell apart in 2015; I jumped from heavy nights out and men, negative friendship circles, pushing away anyone good and battling with my weight and myself.
In April 2016, I was a crying mess on my sofa contemplating ending it all. I had just been dumped by a guy I’d been seeing since my failed marriage, I had a daughter who I felt hated me, I was overweight and I felt completely alone and anxious. The thoughts in my head spiralled with "What is wrong with me? Why do I always ruin everything? I can never be happy? What's the point...?"
It was at this exact moment that I knew I had to do something drastic; I went on a complete journey in the next few months to look at my life, get real and declutter all the crap that had been holding me back all this time. I felt like the weight in my mind had finally been lifted. I was finally happy.
So why should I trust you?
Yes, I’ve done all the training...soooooo much training; Coaching Certificates, NLP Practitioner Certification, Mindfulness Diplomas, Counselling Skills, Customer Service, Level 3's, Level 5's, the Degree….I’ve worked in so many specialist areas with traumatised children and teenagers in care, intoxicated adults, desperate mothers….
But what really matters...?
Is that I am real...I am not perfect, but I know what I'm on about! Let's figure you out together. I can be a hot mess too sometimes, but hey the best of us are!!
I have been where you are, in that cold dark lonely pit of despair, where the walls seem so tall and heavy that it seems impossible to ever climb out...I know it and I fucking get it. I’m here to offer you the ladder up that wall, show you the way up and out of there. I know how shit some of this is going to feel, and I've got you, one step at a time.
I am the person who is going to introduce you to your new best friend…yourself.
You can be in control of your mind. You can be confident. You can be motivated consistently. You can overcome the emotional eating and weight battles. You can like and even love what you see in the mirror. You can have amazing relationships and connections with others. You can be loved. You can be happy.
I know, because this is where I am now. Yeah shit still hits the fan sometimes because you can never control what everyone else does, but you can control if it knocks you on your arse anymore. I know I've got this, and I know you can too.
I love that you absolutely have me and what makes you completely unique is that you do not judge no matter what I have told you.You turn my problems into solutions that are real for me so I know I can achieve them.
Anon from London, UK